DarrellSheets-SW-5-8Storage Wars: Season 5, Episode 8: “Nuthin’ But a G Thang.”

Darrell played the drums in the garage. He, uh, wore guy-eye-liner. Kimber barged in and asked what he was doing thumping on the drums, badly at that. “The Gambler” was getting in touch with his creative side.

Ivy declared his money was trained. He tells it to sit and it don’t come out of his pockets until he wants it. Usually, it sits during an auction, or very little comes out of his pockets. We’ll see if he turns that around.

Jarrod was glad to be back to basics, which was to buy crap. Brandi disagreed. Jarrod stayed positive. She said only Jarrod could make closing the store into a good thing. Nice little “love-fist-tap” between them before the auction.

Darrell and Rene continued to lock horns. “The Gambler” egged Rene to make a $1,000 flip-the-coin bet. Rene had Dan Dotson flip a quarter. Darrell called “heads.” Yep, it was heads.

Rene: I don’t care about the $1,000 bucks, but I gave it to Darrell. That just sucks.

Lesson one, Rene – Never bet against “The Gambler.”

1st-unit-SW-5-81st Storage Unit

Fridge, deep fryer, food saw, grill, soda pop machine, stainless steel table, bowls, high chair, and ladder. Ivy saw any potential in the locker. Would his money talk for him?

Well, it would talk loudly because the price was over his usual cap. Former MMA champion won locker for $1,300.

Ivy: Now this right here is a beard. I’ve got it trained too, my beard and my money.

What does his beard have to do with money? Ivy called Steve, a restaurant equipment buyer, to look at the merchandise. The fridge was old. Slicer had missing parts. Grill rusted. Steve offered $400 for everything.

So much for obedient money.

2nd-unit-SW-5-82nd Storage Unit

Blankets, trash, go-cart, and boxes. Darrell won the unit for $300. He made sure Rene knew he was using his money. Ouch. Salt to the wound.

Darrell found a vacuum, new sewing machine, and Princess House crystal. Brandon worked out on a small an exercise machine.

Darrell’s unique find was an old life jacket from the Queen Mary. Name stenciled on back and date inside vest – 1962.

Darrell: Do you think it was on there when it hit the iceberg?
Brandon: That’s the wrong ship, bro.

Someone give Darrell a history book, please.

They found more Queen Mary items: candyQueen-mary-collectables-SW-5-8 tin, coasters, original napkin, menu, and program.

Father and son took the collectibles to the commander of the Queen Mary. He confirmed the life jacket was authentic. The candy tin dated after World War II. The entire lot valued at $500.

Darrell recreated the famous Titanic movie scene on the ship’s bow.

Still the wrong ship, bro.

3rd-unit-SW-5-83rd Storage Unit

Cedar chest, suit case, cooler, tarp, containers, trash, and boxes. Several people showed interest in this locker including Jarrod; but Rene took it for $1,300

Rene found boxes of dishes, stuffed animals, toys, papers, and VHS tapes. Ha! Laugh because when was the last time you saw a VHS movie?

Rene frustrated as each box delivered little value. However, one box was full of juggling equipment. Rene tried his hand at juggling. Don’t quit your day job, Rene.juggling-knives-SW-5-8

Couple took the equipment to Josh, a circus expert. Torches were good. Juggling rings were for kids. Knives were the most valuable items. Altogether, lot appraised at $800. However, that bet with Darrell placed Rene in the red.

Rene: I lost a thousand bucks to Darrell. I over spent on this unit. I was just juggling too many balls to make a profit.

Insert bad joke here.

Profit Scorecard:

Darrell Sheets: $1,598
Jarrod Schulz & Brandi Passante: $0
Ivy Calvin: LOSS-$900
Rene Nezhoda & Casey Nezhoda:  LOSS-$1,330

Would you have made a bet with Darrell for $1,ooo?

Please leave your insightful opinions in the comment box below.